You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize