i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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