just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
