Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize