So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
