i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We just shotgunned beers for America
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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