I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
