we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We left the knife in your bed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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