Whod you bang
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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