just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
