I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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