You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
