I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
