after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
