I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
