I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
did i just pee glitter
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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