but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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