2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
