All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
