My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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