The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We have so much sex to catch up on
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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