OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
