I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
