you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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