so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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