Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize