This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
