If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He shit in the fireplace
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
