I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
