By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
