Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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