just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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