69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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