Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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