You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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