Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
