Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
