Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
