yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
