Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
