Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
