I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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