so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
