in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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