i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You don't make any sense
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