Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
