Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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