I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
