I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
