Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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