My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
