That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
