theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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