The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
