I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
