she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
