Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize