He is an equal opportunity slut.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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