Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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