their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
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