my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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